my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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