I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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