I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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