So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize