I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize