why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize