I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
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i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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