So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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