I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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