I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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