Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize