White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish you could order shots online.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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