I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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