"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize