i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I think i got beer on your cat.
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