I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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