when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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