3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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