I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize