your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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