would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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