I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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