I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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