I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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