It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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