i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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