your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize