is your mom at the bar?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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