wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize