Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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