we're blogging at a bar
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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