I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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