I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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