I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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