we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize