I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
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please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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