i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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