My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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