so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize