i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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