drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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