I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize