Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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