sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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