you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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