oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize