I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
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I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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