i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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