No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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