So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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